Talking to Children About the Passing of the Queen
Following the passing of Queen Elizabeth II, you may be wondering how to talk to your children about death in a way they will understand. We’ve a few tips from grief experts to help you during this time of mourning.
Tips from Experts
Holding On Letting Go, based in Rochester in Kent, says that youngsters may worry about someone they know, dying. Or they might be experiencing feelings and emotions from a previous bereavement.
Caroline Ford, Chief Executive of Holding On Letting Go, said: "It's important to talk openly with children about how they're feeling following the Queen's death… It's also vital that parents share how they are feeling about it, too."
"Often, it's quite common for children to be worried about people close to them passing away, when someone else has died."
It is therefore important to be emotionally vulnerable and open with the little ones when discussing such a sensitive topic, as this will allow them to process the news and regulate their emotions and reaction in ways that you can then assist with.
How to Support the Processing of Emotions
If you know your child finds it difficult to verbally express their emotions, you may want to consider doing some of the following activities. These activities can be used when dealing with any form of emotional event.
Write a letter or poem
Make a poster, picture or card, using different colours to describe emotions (i.e. red is angry, blue is sad). This will help them to regulate their own emotions, while allowing you an opportunity to understand what is happening in their mind.
Do some baking or cooking. This quality time may encourage the children to open up to you.
Hold a small memorial event. You could each light a candle, or release (biodegradable & environmentally friendly) lanterns in memory of the late Queen.
Talk to children about the fact that it is not out of the ordinary for somebody of a similar age to the Queen, to pass. That being said, you should also make sure to help the kids to understand that the Queen’s death doesn’t mean somebody close to them will also pass away soon.
The charity also recommends that parents should be open and honest with children:
Never say you know how they feel. - Instead, try to say things like: “I don’t know how you feel, but I am here to help in any way I can” or “I will do my best to understand”.
Allow silence if it is needed. You don’t need to fill the void with words. Allow your child to think and reflect and be ready to talk when they are.
It may be more difficult for some children to process than others and each will process the news in their own time. It is important not to ignore what is going on as they will be likely discussing it at school or with their friends. The most important thing to do it to be supportive, empathetic and adjust to their needs while also remembering to look after yourselves during this potentially difficult time.
If you feel that your child needs further support you can visit Child Bereavement UK for advice.
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